I forgot to post this on Sunday.

I like easter, because tomorrow chocolates in many shapes and with various fillings will go on sale.

The last time I remember hearing my uncle donald was on an easter phone call. He told me about roman traditions, and egg dyes, and goddesses for about 20 minutes before taking a measured pause and asking if my father was around.

This was before he faked his death to evade the CIA. Also before he died for real.

But it was years after he had baptised his grand-nephew--and 3 or four other unsuspecting infants-- uninvited and under false pretenses, pretending to be 'Father Donald' (in the vestments, and all) , when the jesuits had, in actual fact, kicked him out many years previously.

Also after he got off illegal possesion of a firearm due to a technicality in search procedure.

Oh man. The cops had to commandeer a bus, because Uncle Donald was in a wheelchair and they couldn't get him to a station any other way.

Oh, they were taking him to a station because he pulled a gun on a parking lot attendant who was giving Donald's nephew and future niece-in-law a hard time. Like, making them follow the rules of the parking garage.

The technicality in search procedure came into play because, after producing the gun, Donald put it away in its silver, locking briefcase home, and put it in a closet. Did I mention he did not have a license for this firearm? Anyway, the cops did not have a warrant when they searched his home. And they did not have just cause for searching his home because the man was in a wheelchair, and thus, not in danger of escaping or reaching the locked, hidden gun.

Know your search procedure, guys. I can not stress this enough.

We have the briefcase in my house. We do not have the gun, though. The state kept it.

You can bet your life on the fact that the punchline to all of this is the image of unflappable, ex-jesuit, debarred-lawyer, part-time swindler and full-time paranoid Uncle Donald rolling out of the courtroom and asking my harassed father 'So do I get the gun back?'

And that is the story we tell every Easter, chez cjb.

I wish i were making this up. Happy Easter!