Koeln 1

The people you meet at airports are the flotsam and jetsam of society. Australian expats bent on describing 'footie' in detail? Little people who want to make friends by telling you about living in majorca and clearly alcoholic making you very uncomfortable by reading over your shoulder? Peruvian nut oil salesman who wish you a nice life after making you promise to forget about money and come to Macchu Picchu? Yes sir, may I have another?

I recommend Germanwings for all your low-cost German air travel needs. They work with deadly efficiency, motormouthing the safety spiel in english and german with nary a pause. It is hilarious. Every other word is 'flugen;' every other word, I am pleased.

Cologne-Bonn airport looks like the future. It's all glass and metal and pictoral representations of 'arrival' and 'departure' since it's a waste of signage to translate everything german-french-english-whatever. Also, duty-free shops!

Passport Control German: You are American?
Me: Yes.
PCG: What are you doing in London?
Me: Studying.
PCG: Why are you coming to Germany?
Me: Karneval.
PCG: Resigned sigh, emphatic stamping of the passport.
Me: Thank you!


Ok. You have never been greeted by friends until they are chanting German anthems at full volume in a crowded crowded airport. LOVE.

Katharina is an inspiration. Within minutes of arriving, she got me caught up on her life of the past year, taught me about eight Cologne songs, gave us directions to the club where Lisa and I would meet her brother, taught me how to say 'Get away from me' for use in the club, figured out what train we needed to get on, and gave me candy. I adore her.

At one point, we're lost and looking for a parade. Katharina storms a deli and asks the entire room where it is.

Her whole family seems to be the same way; her sister alex wanders into the big parade to charm the candy off of the mayor. Her brother quietly commands the action, sending us on goose chases through the streets with a guy nicknamed 'the vomiting bumblebee.'


So, Karneval is about a couple of things. It's about Cologne/Koeln/Kolle, the city and the things that make it great--including the giant double-spired cathedral by the water, its distinct 'koelsch' accent, the story about three kings buried in the cathedral and the tears of eleven virgins that did something. It's about indulgence before Lent, which means drinking and eating a lot. And then the parades, which are awesome because you get dressed up in whatever ridiculous attire you scrounge together (drunk and far from home, means VERY ridiculous) and then get candy thrown at your face for three hours, surrounded by singing people.